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November 2004.
Mathletic Supporters
STURGIS GENERAL’S WARNING: If you suffer a chronic aversion to
hearing the truth, are possessed of incurable hubris or lack
the humor gene on the DNA strand, please hand this column to
someone better suited to the comprehension of absolute
truth, like a professional from the motorcycle industry.
A lot of people say they don’t like
helmet laws, yet 99% of these people contribute only lip
service. These
people are quick to wave the flag and talk about freedom,
but are completely unwilling to bleed or sacrifice to defend
the liberties that Grandpa Stripes fought and died for. Sure, they make a big
dramatic roadside statement while removing their helmets at
the
Arizona
state line during Laughlin, but what did they do to
earn that privilege? Webster's
Dictionary calls them “Welfare Riders” and they
benefit from someone else’s hard work, unwilling to lift a
finger or toss in a dime to make things better, while having
a good time doing it.
Thing is, it’s not just about helmet
laws anymore. We’re fighting a myriad of issues to keep
bikes on the road; lane-splitting, rider training,
motorcycle awareness, insurance issues, excessive noise
ordinances, slippery slurry seal, Vet’s plates for
motorcycles, ear plug tickets, non-working red light
sensors, the EPA crackdown, riding in the carpool lanes and
trying to figure out why the ‘Motorcycles OK” signs
disappeared. Toss in discrimination against patch-holders,
gang enhancement penalties, Patriot Acts I & II and
getting Biker Friendly candidates into office, and you
realize it’s a no brainer that guys like me have more than
a full plate at California’s all you can eat, “Apathy
Diner.” Open
all night and served up cold by an uncaring staff wearing
fancy new leathers.
The controversial rage begins here, so
please ask your children to leave the room. You might want
to put on your Mister Rogers sweater, the one that makes you
feel sophisticated and resistant to criticism. Now, I want
you to delve deep into your psyche and insert my idealism
into your noggin. I am a Capitalist to the extreme. The only patch I’d
probably ever wear would be from the late Malcolm Forbes’
club, the “Capitalist Tools.” So when I attack an entire
industry, it’s not froth from a whining Socialist
whack-job, it’s a bony fingered slap of indignation from
the heart of a red blooded Capitalist, who yearns to see the
motorcycle industry succeed in a big, streets flooded with
gold, kind of way.
Earlier this year, while attempting to
drum up support for our handlebar height modification, I
sent a nice letter to almost every
California
company that makes money from the word,
"motorcycle."
From the walking scratch sheet of bad art who
bastardized and corporate-ized the symbolism of the Iron
Cross, to the guys you see on the Discovery Channel, to the
California manufacturers or distributors of loud pipes, to
the free rags you get in the shops, to the California makers
of the very same high handlebars we set out to legalize. They all received a
letter explaining the current situation, as well as
implications for the future. (Excessive noise) I’m not an
opportunist, so I didn’t ask them to join or send money, I
simply explained the situation and asked them to get
involved by sending a letter to their legislators. One might think that
discovering and joining or backing an organization which
protects future profits would seem, well, profitable.
In the media world, NY Myke, Jackie,
Scott McCool, Easyriders Radio and the staff of the American
Cycle Talk radio program were there for us 110%,
interviewing yours truly about handlebar height limits on a
program archived at www.americancycletalk.com. Quick Throttle was
the only free
magazine to stand behind us in the recent handlebar
modification. QT consistently printed our press releases and
articles for the riding public. Many times, giving us a full
page, which is a big money sacrifice for a growing magazine.
To CD and the crew, I’m forever in your debt. I would
joyfully follow you on a Vespa ride thru Hell, wearing a
pink polka dot jumpsuit with 2 flat tires and Gary Busey
ridin’ bitch. Now,
that other big paper magazine, if they printed anything at
all, I couldn’t find it amidst all the ads and pictures of
pretty people who ride but don’t fight for that right. And
those paid gossip columnists? A few of them knew, too, because
I emailed ‘em. One
replied, “I thought that was a done deal, I’ll check”
and was never heard from again. Such commitment to
our lifestyle! By
the way, it’s my birthday, and I’m willing to apologize
if you prove me wrong and print my name in thick black
letters.
Did I receive any feedback from the
industry? No. Not a single thank
you or a half-hearted atta-boy. Did we get any help
from the industry? None
that I could see! These companies derive a healthy income
hawking illegal parts, I spend endless hours of my own time
helping to make ‘em legal, and they’re just too cool to
say thank you. It’s
not my thang, but a courtesy reach-around every now and then
might help smooth things over. Apparently, while
business is booming, they’ve forgotten the technique. And I’m not lookin’
for a stroke or an ass kissin’. What I’m askin’ is for
the industry to step up, assume some responsibility for the
future of this sport and do its part. It’s almost as if
they expect a little bunch of rag-tags to clear the way for
them to make millions. And to pour salt on the wound, they
can’t find $125 bucks in the petty cash drawer to join the
cause as a business member. If
I’m wrong, send me the proof. I’d be more than
happy to print up a retraction in next month’s column. E me: splatt_the_harley_ratt@yahoo.com.
That’s free
advertising for your business. Tell me what your big
corporation has done to defend rider’s rights in the last
13 years and I’ll hand ya’ an atta-boy. I'll even make mention of it
on my website, Splatt's Motorcycle Citation Database at www.bikernation.us.
If I’ve
managed to stir up a hornet’s nest, I’ve done my job.
I’m not concerned with how unpopular I may become because
I’m a professional loner, no longer accepting applications
for riding buddies. This
isn’t the stand of the organization, it’s my personal
stand as an individual. See,
I have this stoopid notion that in the land of freedom, I
should be able to decide for myself whether or not to wear a
hat when I ride. Unfortunately,
I can’t change public policy all by myself. It takes a team of
devoted, like minded individuals, to achieve success. So, am
I alienating potential friends? I certainly hope so, because
with friends like these, we don’t need enemies. I still
respect you, but I know who’s fighting for your right to
ride in
California
, and with over 950,000 licensed riders and another 400,000
passengers, family and friends, the job is not getting done. The quickest way to
end my incessant rants would be to help lick the lid law in
2005, and I’ll be off ridin’ into a lidless sunset by
2006.
To anyone making money from the
motorcycle industry in
California
, we need your smarts and your talents kissing our
assets. And
just as you industry types need our money, we need your money to assure
a better tomorrow.
You don’t have to attend every meeting. You don’t
have to be at every event. But we do need to know you’re
out there, as a name in our membership, as a logo in the
Bailing Wire or as a dollar in our bank account. We’re the
best hope you have for ever riding free in California, and
the money you spend here goes a helluva lot further than
that lost weekend in Laughlin. In business, it’s
all about money and support. That makes you all mathletic
supporters. Fill
my cup.
"It's a little like wrestling
a gorilla.
You don't quit when you're tired,
you quit when the gorilla is
tired"
~Robert Strauss
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