To quote Seinfeld’s Frank Costanza at Festivus dinner,
now is the time for the airing of grievances.
Usually there’s one hot topic to prompt me to write a
column, as my fingers angrily dance across the keyboard.
But there are a few things that are, well, bugging me
that I need to address.
Here they are, in no particular order:
1. Motorcycles. Why are these things street legal? I
challenge anyone out there to remember a time they saw a
motorcycle that was driving the speed limit and adhering
to all traffic laws.
When I see them, they are usually going about 120 mph
down I-35E, weaving in and out of lanes like those white
lines are just there for show.
Nothing irks me more than sitting in dense 5 p.m. or
Friday traffic, only to see a motorcycle driving between
the rows of cars, going about 40 mph. I want so
badly to open my car door just before they reach me.
I’ll never forget the time I was driving down the
George Bush around 10 p.m., when all of a sudden
scorching down the road were not only about five
motorcycles driving erratically, but they were all
riding on their back tires. Popping a wheelie while
doing 80 mph down a public roadway: stupid.
I remember a few years back, I think after Gary Busey
had his bad motorcycle wreck, there was a public service
announcement asking motorists to “keep an eye open for
motorcyclists,” like they are being abused by us car
and truck drivers.
I remember telling the TV, “I’ll look out
for them as soon as they start obeying traffic laws.”
I’m still waiting, so in my eyes, they are fair game.
Our police officers do a good job, I just hope they pay
a little extra attention to the wheelie-popping idiots
that are making the roadways dangerous for all of us.
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Motorcyclists Respond
The internet makes it easy for
motorcyclists to communicate. Within minutes, the
article began to appear on motorcycle chatlines and
discussion boards from coast to coast. I composed an
email incuding the article from above, including
Douggie's sexy hot pic, then fired off this email
to everyone I know across the nation.
Splatt sez; Turn your turkey baster on stun
and get ready to stick it to yet another idiot and his
publisher. Just remember, when you write, you
represent ALL of us, so be polite, make your point in
a few short sentences and always use spell-check. I'll
move his headshot into Splatt's Shantytown of Shame in
a day or so.
Contact info for
The Lake Cities Sun
The Lake Cities Sun
• PO Box 879, Lake Dallas, Texas 75065 • (940)
497-4141 Fax (940) 497-2273
My Letter to the Editor
I didn't
want Douggie fired, I wanted to milk this unfortunate
incident into free publicity for motorcycle awareness
month...it was actually perfect timing.
Hi ya,
Tina, Good morning, Mark.....
Just wanted to let
you guys know...you can expect the next wave
of letters and calls about the Douglas Simpson "Fair
Game on Motorcyclists" piece to begin later
today, as more and more people check their emails and
forward the news item to friends.
The story only began
to go national yesterday, being posted in
it's entirety (including his sexy hot pic) in
motorcycle newswires and emails from coast to coast
and countless motorcycle forums around the world.
On Thursday, it'll hit
another new high as it'll be posted on a VERY popular Biker
website.
Then, just when you
think the flack will subside, the articles in all the
magazines and newspapers and newsletters will begin to
trickle in.
And given the obvious
outrage, the motorcyclist rights organizations
will be forced to jump on board.
Why am I telling you all
this? Because you pulled the article from the website
and you have an awfully big empty space where
Douglas' article USED to be.
The least you could do is
ask him to write (he DOES get paid to write,
doesn't he?) an APOLOGY...and
stick it in that blank white page on the website.
We're already clicking to visit the website...this
might help defray the situation a tad.
A Proper Punishment?
We'd REALLY like to
see Doug take a motorcycle safety training course, and WRITE
about that experience. We might be able to get it
donated.
Once he has the proper
training and a beginners license, we'll manage to
get a bike and all the gear donated for him to
use so he can ride around for a while.
Then, we'd like him
to WRITE about things from an entirely different
perspective...that of the hunted.
We can turn this
whole thing around and make it a win-win situation for
ALL of us. You, Doug and motorcylists across the
nation.
All of this, just in time
for May, Motorcycle
Awareness Month.
Motorcycles And You.
Perfect timing, Douggie!
Thanks for your
time...sorry Doug had to put you through all this. I'm
sure your lawyers are a little on edge, too.
~splatt
Rider's Rights Activist
Keeping the Grass Roots Fertilized with Douglas'
Article
Look Twice, Save a
Life...Motorcyclists Are DYING to be Seen.
And I couldn't pop a
wheelie if I tried.
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to Top
A Website is Born
Bill Parker, owner of D&M Cycleworld
in Denton, Texas believed in the cause so fervently, he
set up a new website;
http://www.dougsimpsonhatesmotorcycles.com/
